10-06-2020 8:34pm

Merge Wright: The Art Of Dancing Improves?

Rick Amburgey Neighbor

The art of dancing improves?

Dancing shows that had been silent for decades have come on strong in the 21st century. There are several new ones being considered for January. “Dancing with the Briars” which hopes to bring refined men and women from big cities to the country to teach them the art of barefoot country dancing like line dances, Virginia reels, stomps, barn dances and Mary Lou’s unique pairs competition in Chicken Dancing along with her cornfield “Tush Push” slow dancing. Others being considered are the “Cotton Eyed Joe”, on your front porch with your big dog, “Beer Barrel Polka” - Bubba style and my fave “Waltzing” at the Waffle House.

Other producer’s are looking at the old “Big Bang” group for new shows and thinking of calling it “Bangers Dance Party”. The idea here is to teach Sheldon and Leonard type people the art of the dance like the “Cha Cha Slide Rule”, the “Gig a Twist”, The “Tab, Tab, Backspace, Control, Kick, Shift”, the WiFi 6 Two Step”, the Electric Auto Slide and the “Double Click Wobble Wobble.” The hardest part here is going to be getting the Big Bang Theorists to part with their pocket protectors and keep them from solving equations on cell phones while they’re dancing.

Totally spoiled humans. Couple number one lives in the Miami Valley. When the battery died on the wife’s Key FOB that locked and unlocked her car doors she threw a fit with her husband. She would no longer drive her car to work when the temperature dropped below 40 degrees. Her words were, “If you think I’m going to stand out in the cold and fool around wiggling a key you’re crazy.” She drove her husband’s car until he got the problem fixed two days later when he stopped at Auto Zone and paid $2.95 for the battery and installation.

Couple number two from Cincinnati need to have a barrel of ice water dumped on them. Having a bad year financially they were planning on skipping Christmas completely for their 5, 7, and 9 year olds. Caring friends and family got together and collected enough money to buy presents for all three children. Mistake, mistake, they should have bought the presents themselves. Seems the parents did not buy gifts for the children instead brought their maid in for one whole day to clean the house. The children got nothing other than knowing the house was nice and clean. Someone give me their address I’ve got a bucket of ice water waiting for them.

Maui, South Beach, South America, Gattlinburg, Colorado Springs and Piqua are a few places we’ve been and enjoyed. Here are some new ones we just added to our travel bucket list? (Don’t be alarmed these are the names of real cities you may want to Google for more information before you visit.)

10. Buttzville, New Jersey, (Could this be the home of Hiney Falls and the Hiney Winery?)
09. Booger Mountain, North Carolina, (Bring a hanky or pick up some Kleenex at Star Bugs coffee shop.)
08. Ben Hur, Texas, (I’ve heard the movie’s much better but it’s worth a visit I guess)
07. Weed, California, (They could keep you here for weeks don’t inhale too much.)
06. Superior Bottom, W. Virginia (Sister city to Buttzville, New Jersey I’m guessing)
05. Looneyville, Texas, (Be careful, town has shrunk considerably, they’re looking for new Loonies)
04. Monkey Run, Arkansas, (I believe this is where the Monkey Busses are built and tested.)
03. Dinkytown, Minnesota, (Small village run by Mayor Dinky and the Dinky Doos..city council dance team.)
02. Two Egg, Florida, (If you’re gonna lay an egg “make a mistake” this is the town to do it in...limit 2 per year.)
Toad Suck, Arkansas, (I just can’t imagine my checks or letterhead showing Toad Suck as my hometown.)
Others you might want to check out are Mudsock, Ohio, Flippin, Arkansas, Good Food, Mississippi and Whynot, Nebraska. I can see a great book being written about these towns. If you have a Harley Big Boy this could be a fun trip next summer.
Good wishes to all for a great rest of the week. See ya next Wednesday.

Merge Wright’s email address: mergewright@yahoo.com