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By: Stan Popovich
Meeting new people can feel exciting, but it can also create stress and social anxiety. Learning how to manage those feelings can help you feel more confident and comfortable in social situations.
Understanding Social Anxiety
Everyday terms: Social anxiety is the nervousness, embarrassment, or overwhelm you feel when interacting with others. You may worry about being judged or saying the wrong thing, making social situations stressful. Mild nervousness is normal, but social anxiety disorder (SAD) is more intense and can interfere with daily life.
Clinical perspective: SAD involves intense fear or avoidance of social situations. It may cause physical symptoms—racing heart, sweating, shaking—and can affect work, school, or relationships.
Reduce Anxiety When Meeting People
1. Be yourself: Do not pretend to be someone you are not because it will catch up to you. Give people a chance to learn who you are as a person when developing new friendships.
2. Find common interests: It is important to meet people who have things in common with you. It will be easier to start a conversation and develop a friendship.
3. Hang out with friendly people: Use good judgment in who you hang out with and try to find people who are friendly. If somebody gives you a hard time, find someone else who may be easier to talk to. Don’t be in a rush to talk to the first person you see.
4. Consider others’ perspectives: Show some interest in the people you meet. Talk to them in terms of their needs and wants. Asking questions and being a good listener can go a long way in developing long-lasting friendships.
5. Keep an open mind: It is important not to judge people before you get to know them. Ask questions and get to know the person before deciding if you want to become friends. The key is to learn as much as you can about the person you are talking to. This will help you decide if this is a person you want to become friends with.
6. Be honest: Feeling anxious? A lot of people struggle with stress and anxiety. When you open up to people, they’ll feel inspired to do the same.
7. Set boundaries: If you try to make everyone happy, it’s going to end up backfiring. You don’t have to lie about your beliefs or values to get people to like you. The important thing is to be true to yourself.
8. Relax before socializing: Take a deep breath to help relax before you socialize with others. If you still feel stressed, then get some fresh air or take a walk to help relax. You can also develop new goals to help distract you from your anxieties and the fear of not making it.
9. Use good judgment: You need to find a place that has social activities. Always read the room to see who looks friendly and those who prefer to keep to themselves.
10. Start with small talk: Use an ice breaker to develop a conversation with someone that you do meet. At the end of the night, you can say “Would you want to meet for coffee and follow up on our talk?”. If they say yes, then exchange numbers.
Best Places to Meet People
Choose environments that encourage conversation, offer consistency, align with your interests, and mix regulars with newcomers:
1. Sports Teams: Join a recreational adult team to build camaraderie and socialize after games.
2. Church or Community Groups: Attend events or services to meet like-minded people and explore shared values.
3. Clubs & Hobby Groups: Book clubs, art classes, or special interest groups provide instant conversation topics.
4. Volunteering: Tutoring, shelters, or animal rescues help you connect with others while giving back.
5. Classes & Workshops: Cooking, pottery, meditation, or fitness classes let you meet people while learning new skills.
6. Jobs with Public Interaction: Customer-facing roles make casual conversation easier and more routine.
7. Local Hangouts: Coffee shops, bars, pubs, or public events offer low-pressure ways to meet others.
8. Festivals & Community Events: Attend local festivals or community gatherings to meet people in a fun, informal environment.
BIOGRAPHY
Stan is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear" which covers 200+ techniques that can drastically improve your mental health. For more information, please visit Stan's website at http://www.managingfear.com
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