Merge Wright: The molecules from 4th grade science class are here….
Who would have ever guessed a gang of dirty, filthy molecules could get together and shut down our planet. Typhoons, earthquakes, wars, fires, greed and corruption all had their chance but something invisible to the naked eye called Covid 19 nicknamed Corona Virus was the victor. I’m guessing Corona is a fem virus or the name would have been the Bubba, Harry or Big Louie virus. When world medical experts began work on the project I decided to check with Flo from Progressive. She’s always on TV, the internet, newspapers, billboards, and radio helping people get cheaper auto insurance. I don’t know what we’d do without her. I thought her professionalism might lend us some suggestions to get us up and running and back in the game at a reasonable cost. Well, I never made it to first base. Flo’s too busy to deal with me. Her business is booming. Maybe I should try one of the other products that have consumed our summer with non-stop ads. You know, car warranties and gutter cleaners. We have so many things to think about this year like when can I leave the house, will I ever work again, how can I make my car payment, pay the mortgage, or eat out in Wendy’s parking lot. Maybe they think their message will be the first thing that pops into our mind if normal returns. Like, “Honey, now that every things good again we need to get Gutter Protection and I just signed up for additional warranties on our cars. I’m so happy now.”
Football might be our savior but only allowing family of the players in the stands is going to be strange for the players and TV audience. And income from refreshments won’t make enough to pay the two workers. Thousands will be watching in the parking lots. Drinking beer and grilling burgers and brats. They’ll need to be taxed or pay entry fees to keep the sport alive. It’s just another day and obstacle here on the 3rd rock from the sun.
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